A Darkness Cut

Darkness surrounds me.

This is not a comforting dark.

There is an uneasiness to it. 

I want to run, but my body is paralyzed.

 

I do not want to be here.

I want to be free!

I know I can be free!

But I cannot.

 

Darkness swallows me,

Darkness engulfs me,

Darkness keeps me here.

I see the smallest speck of light.

If I can only reach my hand out.

 

"No, don't do that."

"What if you burn?"

"What would happen to you?"

"It will not accept you!"

"It will not save you!"

"I will keep you safe."

"Stay here, here where it's safe."

 

I will.

I will not leave this place.

Where I know nothing can hurt me.

Where I know I will not be challenged.

Where I will not be a disgrace or an embarrassment.

I will stay here.

 

But what if I did leave?

What if I reached for that speck?

It could be fun!

I could feel a connection!

But what if they do not accept me?

What if they hate me?

 

Yes, I will stay here.

Here, where it is safe.

Where I can live in solitude,

Not to hear their criticisms.

Not to hear their hate.

Yes, I will stay here.

 

"You are better off here."

"Stay here with me."

"They wouldn't understand you."

"They will see you as unworthy."

"There's no reason to connect."

"You will get no answer, your actions will be wasted. In vain."

"Everything you have is here."

 

This cannot be inevitable,

There must be a reason for the light.

It could open new possibilities.

If I could only reach out to it.

 

If I could only reach out to it.

I could grow.

I could learn.

I could be free!

 

"No there is nothing for you there!"

"Stay away from the speck!"

"They will ridicule you!"

"THEY WILL HATE YOU."

"DO NOT LEAVE!"

 

I want to reach it!

I can become more!

More than what I already am!

I could make a change!

I can reach it!

 

"YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING!"

"YOU WILL FOREVER BE SHUN, A PARIAH!"

"THEY WILL NEVER LISTEN AND ACCEPT YOU!"

 

QUITE!

I have had enough!

I am tired of living in this heavy darkness,

Where you keep me small!

I will have no more!

 

These could happen, yes.

But I must try.

I must reach for it.

For I will never grow.

Never under this darkness.

 

The speck is right there!

I just need to raise my hand.

Just a fingertip away.

 

REACH!

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Ceres